Saturday, October 31, 2009

NaNo OhNo!

Well, I had the best intentions! I planned everything, yet somehow it all managed to fall apart. I was going to finish The Evolution of Janie and spend November dedicated to NaNo and write the sequel to Evolution.  Now I'm only half done Evolution and no where near ready to start a new project. Tonight my goal is to write. Yet, I'm sitting here watching Calleigh try and eat all of her Halloween candy through their wrappers.  Maybe after she's in bed and I've thrown the soggy wrappers (and chocolate) away I'll get myself motivated :)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

I like the sound...

I like the sound of Auntie Ang. I wasn't sure it would ever happen, but I'm so happy to say that my sister, Penny, is pregnant!! 

It was a bittersweet moment seeing the ultrasounds pictures. Baby Elton was so perfect on that screen.  I remember the moment I first saw Calleigh. The joy was overwhelming, the relief beyond belief.  Then the memory of my first pregnancy surfaced and I felt the despair and guilt flooding me.

Logically, I know I didn't do anything to cause or deserve the miscarriage but it was still there, buried deep under the joy of eventually having Calleigh. But the question of why me? still haunts me and I know that I will never discover the answer I want because the real answer is why not me?

So I'm filled now with prayers that Penny never has to ask that question. That Baby Elton be strong and healthy and that the pain that surges within me is one she'll never feel.

May 2nd can't some soon enough.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Diving in

So, I am finally entering the world of blogging. Ican remember a time I thought they were a fad, like social networking sites and texting.  How I hated the idea of people constantly posting mindless blather about their lives. Now I join the ranks having only ever read one other blog (Polar Penny!). Guess I need to start checking out others so I have some clue as to what I'm doing :)