Friday, January 8, 2010

Dreaded Query

Well, I finally reached the end.  I've finished my first draft of Songbird and as I begin the endless journey of editing and revising I also took on the query.  I had mild success with my query for The Evolution of Janie with 1 full request and 4 partials before I stopped sending them out to focus on reworking it.  This time though I feel much more confident in my query.  It's not perfect quite yet but it's on its way. So without further ado, here is the current version:

Dear Agent,

Everyone has that one defining moment when everything in their life changes.  For seventeen year-old Dani Mays it's the day her father killed her brother.  With Jace's death her life fell apart and now, ten years later, she still can't put it behind her.

After years of bouncing between her mom and foster homes, Dani finds her place with the Thompsons and a reason to want to stay.  Reece McCabe.  As far as Dani's concerned Reece is perfect.  Since fifth grade he's been her best friend, with a promise to love her forever.  But she wants more than friendship from Reece.  When she finally believes that the word "us" might be about to take on a new meaning, her illusions are shattered once again when she can't escape the memories of her past and the influence they have over her choices.

 The appearance of a former foster brother manages to confuse Dani even further as she struggles to accept the faults in people and in herself, and move into the present, even as the past threatens to end everything.

SONGBIRD (61,000 YA Romance) explores the effects life experiences have on one girl and her journey to finding happiness when she has given up all hope.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I have included the first two chapters for your review. The full manuscript is available upon request.

Angela Fristoe

I'm going to spend the next week or so, working on cleaning up my draft, and then research which agents would work best for me and Songbird.  All I can do is hope and pray that Dani's story touches someone's heart enough to have the confidence that they can sell it.

On my iPod:

Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm


  1. Sounds like a great book. I think her age should be in the query somewhere. Look for agents who enjoy character-driven YA novels.

  2. Thanks Courtney! I'll add that in!
    :) Ang

  3. Congrats of finishing your first draft of 'Songbird'. :)

    The Query sounds really good, and I'd think it should catch an agent's attention. On suggestion, though. I think you need another comma in this sentence: With Jace’s death her life fell apart and now, ten years later(,) she still can’t put it behind her.

  4. Thanks Tina! I'll put that comma in.
    :) Ang

  5. I read the opening chapter on this book some time ago. Chilling, excellent work.

    Very best of luck with your queries!! You're further ahead than I - that's for sure. :)

    ~ Corra

    from the desk of a writer