Saturday, October 2, 2010

In the Beginning...

I'm not sure what actually triggered my thoughts today but I was suddenly overwhelmed by the memory of how I felt when I first started writing The Evolution of Janie. It was a heady feeling, my chest tightened and a surge of excitement filled me. I can clearly remember sitting in the Barnes and noble bookstore in The Woodlands, flipping through pages of a Montana tour guide, hoping to find the perfect location for my story.

It was a feeling that I want to recapture. That rush of starting something completely new, that was going to change my life in a way that I never anticipated. Before starting Evolution I'd never seriously considered writing a novel. But once I started I found that the thrill of creating something of my own, where I could direct the characters to be what I wanted and to do what I wanted them to do, was better than reading what another had put down on paper.

I suppose now my goal is to find that feeling again and keep it going. So many times I sit at the computer and try to figure out what I'm doing. I've been too focused on trying to get an agent and get published that I've lost my love of creating. Since putting my querying on the back burner I've been feeling freer, but I know that to really get back to where I started I'm going to have to find a way to write for me first and my audience second.

There's always going to be a part of me that desires to get published, and when I had a full request on Evolution earlier this week, I did get a tingle in my stomach. But that needs to be second to the actual writing.

On my iPod:

Adam's Song by Blink 182

4 comments:

  1. Here's a shout out to that tingly feeling in your stomach!!! So many people talk about being writers and never actually put pen to paper. You are actually DOING it.

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  2. Robert Dafydd CadwaladerOctober 3, 2010 at 11:34 AM

    Well said Angie!
    I have the luxury of having an ideal job whereby I am paid loads of bucks for not doing much so am able to paint while I am away at sea. I have a lovely studio in the place I love and can sit there and paint (if I feel like it) and chat to my friends and the interesting folk that pop in.
    I suppose that the studio is an expensive hobby but I may build it up and make some pin-money and retire from the sea.
    I get asked to paint various portraits, scenes etc but really I just want to paint what I like and when I sell one it's like losing a baby! (I make sure they go to a good home).
    I suppose that I am aimimg to have my pictures exhibited in a prestigious gallery and win prizes an awards but If I don't I will have had a great deal of enjoyment creating them.:-)

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  3. Wise words and inspirational words as well. Honestly for ever minute of struggle where you can't figure out what to write and you stare at a blank page, those moments were it all bursts through are just priceless ;-)

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  4. I know the feeling, Ang. Writing that first novel seems so exciting, but it also comes naturally. It's the following up with the next story that's difficult. But look how much you've written since that first day! It's amazing, really. And you'll get back to the writing, because it's who you are.

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