I feel odd and slightly out of place. As if I'm in another person's chair at another person's computer trying to write their story. It's been about a week since I even tried to write anything and now that I'm not sick or working it feels odd. I want to just jump back in, but it's almost as if I don't know where to start, because I can't remember where I left off.
A week doesn't sound that long. And it isn't. I've gone a week without writing before. But this time was different. Normally when I can't write, I'm thinking about it. Playing it out in my mind so that when I get to the computer I'm ready with a plan for my characters in mind. This time I didn't think or plan or visualize. I simply vegged. I played Facebook games and spent more time with my daughter and went to bed at a fairly decent time.
And worst is that today I almost did something I haven't done in almost a year - I almost bought a book. Nothing of great quality, just some random romance novel. I'd almost put it in my cart when I stopped myself. When the hell do I have time to read? I'm not saying that I don't read - I've lost track of how many novels I'm following on TNBW, and I reread books I have at home. But buying a new book, investing hours into reading over the weekend just can't be at the top of my list. I'm a compulsive reader. I read a seven novel series by V.C. Andrews in three days. I read Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series in a weekend, and I can crank out three to four Harlequin novels in a day. Once I start reading I can't stop, especially if it's only a matter of turning a page.
I put the book back. I have too many things to do, stories of my own to write.
Now, I'm sitting here trying to get myself back into that mind-set of being a writer, of knowing my characters and their stories. Maybe it'll work to my advantage - to look at things with fresh eyes, but I know one thing for sure. I'll never let myself go this long without thinking about writing again. It's a perilous path for me, one that would lead to me giving up. And I'm not ready to do that yet.
On my iPod:
Touch Peel and Stand by Days of the New