Thursday, October 22, 2009

I like the sound...

I like the sound of Auntie Ang. I wasn't sure it would ever happen, but I'm so happy to say that my sister, Penny, is pregnant!! 

It was a bittersweet moment seeing the ultrasounds pictures. Baby Elton was so perfect on that screen.  I remember the moment I first saw Calleigh. The joy was overwhelming, the relief beyond belief.  Then the memory of my first pregnancy surfaced and I felt the despair and guilt flooding me.

Logically, I know I didn't do anything to cause or deserve the miscarriage but it was still there, buried deep under the joy of eventually having Calleigh. But the question of why me? still haunts me and I know that I will never discover the answer I want because the real answer is why not me?

So I'm filled now with prayers that Penny never has to ask that question. That Baby Elton be strong and healthy and that the pain that surges within me is one she'll never feel.

May 2nd can't some soon enough.


  1. I'm sorry for that pain you feel, Ang. But happy for your news. Being an aunt is fun stuff. :)


  2. I wish I could edit comments? That happy-face looks awfully trite given the context of your posting. I don't even recall typing it...

    My best to you.

  3. Corra, don't worry about the smiley face. It's exactly what I should be doing. I'm going to be an Auntie!!! :)

  4. Having lost a child, I know you never forget and you'll always wonder why, but since I'm a believer, I comfort myself that a part of me is in heaven. Enjoy the excitement of getting ready to welcome the new member of the family.